14 Ridiculous Patents That Somehow Got Approved
The world of patents is supposed to protect genuine innovations and groundbreaking inventions. Patent offices carefully review applications to ensure they meet strict criteria for novelty, usefulness, and non-obviousness.
Yet somehow, throughout history, some truly bizarre and head-scratching inventions have managed to slip through the cracks and receive official patent protection. From utterly impractical contraptions to solutions for problems that don’t really exist, these approved patents prove that even the most rigorous review processes can have their off days.
Here is a list of 14 ridiculous patents that somehow managed to convince patent examiners they were worth protecting.
Motorized Ice Cream Cone
Inventor Robert Fish patented a battery-powered ice cream cone in 1999 that rotates the frozen treat while you lick it. The device promised to eliminate the need for manual cone rotation and ensure even consumption of your dessert.
Fish claimed his invention would prevent ice cream from dripping and provide a more efficient eating experience, though most people seem to manage just fine with traditional tongue-to-cone coordination.
Anti-Eating Face Mask
This 1982 patent by Lucy Barmby covers a cage-like mask designed to prevent overeating by making it physically difficult to consume food. The contraption fits over the entire head and includes small openings that allegedly allow only limited amounts of food to pass through.
Barmby argued that her invention would help people stick to their diets, though the social implications of wearing such a device in public weren’t thoroughly considered.
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Banana Protection Device
The formal name for this 2001 patent is ‘Banana Protective Device,’ and it does exactly what you’d expect. Inventor David Agulnek created a plastic case specifically designed to protect individual bananas from bruising during transport.
The curved, hard-shell container includes ventilation openings and comes in different sizes to accommodate various banana lengths, because apparently nature’s own protective peel wasn’t quite cutting it.
Kissing Shield
A thin, flexible barrier intended to be positioned between two people’s mouths during intimate moments is described in patent number 4,320,756. Michael Jaross, an inventor, asserted in 1982 that his creation would allow couples to have affectionate contact while preventing the spread of diseases.
The shield has breathing openings and comes with adhesive strips to maintain its correct position while in use.
Head Slapping Device
A mechanical device that applies precisely calibrated forehead slaps is covered by this 1994 patent. The gadget was created by inventor Albert Cohen to help people remember things by associating forgetfulness with physical sensations.
When the wearer presses a button, the mechanism, which can be worn like a headband and has force settings that can be adjusted, will send a reminder smack.
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Toilet Landing Strip
Patent 6,789,297 protects a luminescent guide system for toilets that helps users aim properly in the dark. The invention includes glow-in-the-dark strips that can be attached to toilet bowls to improve accuracy during nighttime bathroom visits.
Inventor Richard Hartman argued that his creation would reduce cleanup time and improve household harmony, particularly in homes with poor aim and good intentions.
Dog Umbrella
This isn’t just any pet rain protection system – patent 5,901,334 covers a specialized umbrella that attaches directly to a dog’s collar or harness. The invention includes adjustable struts and a clear canopy so the animal can still see while staying dry.
Inventor William Gibson claimed his 1999 creation would eliminate the need for doggy raincoats and provide better coverage during walks, though training dogs to accept overhead contraptions wasn’t addressed in the application.
Beerbrella
The Beerbrella earned patent protection in 2003 as a tiny umbrella specifically designed to keep beverages cool and protected from sun exposure. Inventor Curtis Allina created a miniature parasol that clips onto cans or bottles to provide shade for drinks during outdoor activities.
The device includes a telescoping handle and comes in various colors to match different beverage preferences.
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High Five Machine
Patent 7,883,420 covers an automated device that delivers high-fives on demand when human partners aren’t available. The invention includes a mechanical arm with a soft-padded hand that extends from a base unit when activated.
Inventor Albert Cohen (yes, the same guy who created the head-slapping device) designed this 2011 creation to provide positive reinforcement and celebration opportunities for solitary individuals.
Force Field Belt
This 1999 patent describes a personal protection system that creates an electromagnetic barrier around the wearer’s body. Inventor Troy Hurtubise claimed his device could deflect various threats including wild animal attacks and projectiles.
The belt-mounted system allegedly generates a protective energy field, though the patent documentation doesn’t provide clear scientific evidence of its effectiveness against anything more dangerous than skeptical onlookers.
Wrist Water Dispenser
Patent 6,152,258 protects a watch-like device that dispenses small amounts of water directly onto the wearer’s face. Inventor Michael Kline designed this 2001 creation to provide instant refreshment during exercise or hot weather without requiring users to carry traditional water bottles.
The device includes a small reservoir and a spring-loaded spray mechanism that activates with the press of a button.
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Sandbox Alarm System
This patent covers a motion-detection system specifically designed to monitor sandbox activity and alert parents when unauthorized digging occurs. The 1996 invention by Patricia Johnson includes buried sensors that trigger alerts when sand displacement exceeds predetermined thresholds.
The system was designed to prevent cats and other animals from using children’s sandboxes as litter boxes, though it would also detect legitimate play activity.
Wake Up Call Hat
This 1996 patent covers a hat equipped with multiple alarm mechanisms designed to prevent falling asleep during important activities. Inventor David Zeer’s creation includes motion sensors that detect head nodding and respond with lights, sounds, and vibrations.
The hat was specifically designed for truck drivers and students, though wearing such an obvious contraption might draw unwanted attention during lectures or meetings.
Bathroom Privacy Sound Generator
A device that creates masking sounds to conceal bathroom activities is protected by patent 6,244,987. Robert Johnson’s invention from 1999 mounts on toilet seats and turns on by itself when a person sits down.
Since coughing or running water didn’t seem to be providing enough acoustic cover, the device creates different natural sounds, music, or white noise to maintain dignity during private moments.
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When Innovation Meets Imagination
These patents serve as a reminder that, despite what common sense might indicate, creativity has no limits. Even though the majority of these innovations were never used in everyday life, they show the intriguing nexus between human creativity and administrative procedures.
The patent system’s readiness to defend even the most dubious concepts shows how inclusive it is, but also how disconnected it can be from real-world situations at times. Every application that is accepted demonstrates that someone somewhere had enough faith in their unique idea to successfully negotiate the intricate realm of intellectual property protection.
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